Thursday 24 August 2017

#TBT - Destination Mum

* Post first shared in February 2015

The name of this blog - To Become Mum - was chosen at a time when I was about to embark on my first adventures in mummyhood.

I didn't know what to expect. What it would be like. What I would be like. I wanted to share the things I learned and tried and failed and succeeded at.

My journey to become mum.

I guess I used to think of becoming mum as a kind of destination; follow the map, take directions if needed, trust my own sense of direction and one day, I would arrive at 'Mum'. I expected the journey to begin when I knew I was expecting then, after baby was born and having had a short while to find my feet and learn the ropes, I'd know that I had arrived.

From bump to baby to toddler, I now realise that being 'Mum' really isn't a destination at all. It's not something that you can know the directions to for sure, no matter how many times you check the best routes, plan ahead, leave enough time or consult paths previously tred.

Becoming mum, or dad, is actually a journey. One that takes time. Some parts are easy going and you pick up a few shortcuts others have twists and turns and expected bumps in the road. You can be thrown road blocks one minute and the rest of the time, all the lights are in your favour and you can sail through, happy and content and without anything holding you back.

It's a journey that never really ends. Sure, I became mum on 5th May 2013, when my beautiful son was born. Or, even earlier than that, on 14th August when a blue line appeared and told me what I had hoped so much for was true. But I am more a mum now than I was then and I'll be even more so in the weeks, months and years ahead.

Because I'm learning. And it takes time and practice, putting theory into practice, learning lessons, picking up a few minors and hoping you'll be forgiven any majors you might have marked against you along the way. 

Maybe it just wasn't your day. Perhaps you missed something in your blind spot.

You can always try harder next time. 

You never stop learning as the roads are always changing and, sometimes, the signs just don't seem to be there. I've never travelled these roads before, having a toddler who can walk and talk, who will one day soon need to be potty trained, and who one day, a long time away yet I hope, will create his own path and his own journey to wherever he wants to go.

I may be his guide, there as a compass to show him where true North lies, but he will make his own way in life just as I have in mine.

So for now, we are travelling companions - hubs, Ethan and I - all looking ahead to each and every milestone and doing all we can to enjoy the ride.

Because becoming mum is the greatest journey of my life. And all roads lead to what matters most. My family and my beautiful son.

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