Thursday 14 November 2019

#AntiBullyingWeek - 7 things you need to know if your child is being bullied

I wanted to share this guest post with you as it is Anti Bullying Week and the information is really useful as no-one wants their child to go through this kind of thing, and I certainly want to be prepared to know how to spot it and help handle the situation if needed (note: this is not an ad).

By the UK’s first Children’s Happiness Coach, Simon Benn.

I’ve helped more than 1600 children understand how to be happy and what I’ve learned is that when it comes to being bullied, how the parent responds is one of the most important factors in the determining the outcome and future happiness of the child.  So, if your child is being bullied, here are 7 things you need to know as a parent.  

  1. 1.     It’s an emotional time but the more resilient you can be, the more resilient your child is going to be. Do what it takes to build your own resilience.

    2.     Your ultimate aim is for your child to be happy. There are two ways to do this. Focus the school on stopping the bullying. Focus on building your child’s resilience. That way they’ll get bullied less. Bullies don’t pick on kids that don’t react.  

    3.     Bullying upsets some kids more than others. That’s due to different levels of resilience. Most parents whose kids are bullied wish they’d built their children’s resilience earlier. But it’s never too late to start.

    4.     The first thing your child needs to see is that it’s NOT their fault that they’re being bullied. Bullies say they’re picking on us for our glasses, height, weight, clothes etc. They’re really picking on us because they’re sad, angry or scared.

    5.     Your teacher and your child’s school will have come across bullying before. This may mean that they’re likely to be desensitised to it. This may affect their reaction and they’re probably likely to be less emotional about it than you. They’re not being heartless they’ve just seen it before.

    6.     Many parents regret not getting formal enough soon enough. In the myriad of things on their to-do list, letters to the school don’t get written and schools don’t take enough action.

    7.     We’re used to teachers taking the lead and taking care of what needs to be done. Many parents of bullied children have told me that when it comes to bullying, teachers don’t take the lead.  I conducted a survey and 75% of parents told me they were dissatisfied with how the schools deal with bullying. I hope you’ll be in the 25% who were satisfied.

    Involve your child in the solution. This will make them feel a degree of control. One of the questions you can ask is “How can I be helpful?” Then decide together how. You may choose to role play situations so your child can practice how they would respond.

    Finally, and most importantly, talk to your child and tell them what happened so s/he can see your persistence and how much you care.  Show them how much you love them, tell them you will get through this and that you will all be happier and more resilient when you come through it.   

    If you’d like more support, get in touch with me:

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