Monday, 4 January 2016

Good for you / The Ordinary Moments #1


The first book I read in ages was Yes Please! by comedy writer and actress Amy Poehler.

If you don't know her, she's best mates with Tina Fey and plays an eternally bubbly and optimistic council woman in the hilarious Parks and Recreation (go check it out if you haven't seen it).

And she's pretty awesome. In character and as herself.

In interviews and in her book, Amy is full of wise words and real insights into being a woman and believing in yourself. It's not all overused metaphors and cliché motivational words - she has some intelligent things to say and there's one thing in particular that she said that struck a chord with me.

Her motto, and the one I have adopted for this year, is simple but hits the nail on the head: "Good for you! (Sometimes followed by) Not for me."

It's about celebrating all your successes and those of women around you, with the realisation that what other people do shouldn't make you feel any less yourself.

Kate from Pouting in Heels wrote this post a while ago that's similar in focus and that stuck in my mind, about how sometimes, when someone else shines, it can make us feel like our own light dims. 

It's something I've seen so many times. Other bloggers and women, talking about the impact that social media, magazines, their friends can have on the way they feel about their own lives. Seeing Instagram snaps in all their filtered glory can make other people's lives seem perfect. But we all know that there's no such thing. Alex at Bump to Baby explained in her 'the juggle' post the way she posts and shares, and how she doesn't want to portray a perfect life, more that she only wants to remember the best moments. And I think we can all relate to this.

The idea of 'good for you' is so simple but really powerful when you think about it. You may have resolutions or just some aims for the year ahead (you can read mine here). Or you may think that it's all a load of old tosh and you're alright as you are. 

And of course, you are. You're amazing. You are the only you that you can be. And you can always do more and focus on becoming the best you there is.

It's up to you.

But whatever you do, be sure to celebrate it. Enjoy the little things and give yourself a pat on the back. I saw a few days ago that What Katy Said has created a rememberations jar rather than making resolutions. The idea is, for every success, achievement or good memory, you put a note in a jar to acknowledge it. At the end of the year, or whenever you need reminding, you can read all the notes you've added.

Great, isn't it?

I've already started mine.


(Katy also has a #HappyDays linky which I've only just discovered too).

'Good for you' means to me doing things that are good for me - either eating well, surrounding myself with positive people, taking time for myself if I need it - and patting myself on the back if I achieve something or have a small win.

'Good for you, not for me' is a reminder that everyone else has their own circumstances and capabilities. We can't all live a perfect, Pinterest friendly  life - we can aspire to it but we shouldn't be ruled by what others seem to have or do. When we see someone else's success or something we like or want ourselves, we are the only ones who can control how it makes us feel. We shouldn't let it make us feel bad or like we have failed or that we are missing something. We're not. 

We're just doing things in our own way. In our own time. And, for what should be our own reasons. 

So, that's my simple phrase, motto or mantra for this year. Simple but achievable. And positive too.

It seems I'm in good company with this kind of approach to this year. Hayley from Home has written about how her main goal is to keep it simple and Emma at Life According to Mrs Shilts is aiming for something similar this year. And Katie from Mummy Daddy Me has just talked about how blogging can present a perfect life in her first #TheOrdinaryMoments post of 2016.

If you're hoping to take a more positive approach to life, or just want to read something intelligent by an interesting and funny woman, take a look at Amy Poehler's book. And feel inspired to say yes please to 2016.

Or pop back here again as I'm adding positivity as a new theme and if love to hear your thoughts and see your post links below too. I want to look for the good and share the positive things I see, read and experience. Sharing is caring and I hope you'll join me in making this year the best we can.

Good for us!

I've linked this post to the #BrillBlogPosts ,  #HappyDays and #TheOrdinaryMoments link ups.
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19 comments

  1. This is such an uplifting post! Thank you so much for the mentions, I am so pleased my idea resonated with you. I hope 2016 is a fab year for you xx

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    1. Thank you Katy - and thank you for the jar idea too! x

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  2. Lovely post, And I can totally relate. Social media is wonderful and all but can be so dangerous and make you feel inadequate to others or things. I am definitely having a more simple life from this year and feeling thankful for our life and not comparing to others. When you take the time to do things 'good for you' it out weighs all the other crap hey :) Happy new year xx

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    1. Here's to keeping this simple! If we focus on our own thing and just appreciate everyone else, then we will be far happier people :)

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  3. What a wonderful, positive and uplifting post! Love this so much. I think the motto is perfect. It's so easy for us to get stuck in the awful comparison game and wondering why our lives aren't as wonderful as someone else's (or how it seems to be.) But it's not about comparing, it's about becoming the best woman we can be or living our life the best way we can. Wishing you a wonderful 2016! And of course thank you for the mention too. Very kind. X

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    1. I think we just can't help but compare ourselves to others, but I find it so tiring and just don't want to play the game any more. Thank you for all your inspiration too - loved the linked post x

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  4. I too try to be a happy, positive person and really think it is important to find your own happy. Trying to be someone else or have their life will never work. Great post! Jess xx

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    1. Find your own happy - that's another motto right there! Thanks for commenting Jess x

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  5. I absolutely love this post. So uplifting, positive and though provoking. I have always tried to be a positive person and focus on the things that make me happy. But I would hate for people to think I am fake, nauseating or annoying. And no one can be positive all the time, it is just not possible. I think it is so important to support other women, it is so sad when we put each other down. x

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    1. And I absolutely love you! Here's to supporting each other, whatever this year has in store x

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  6. Great post Kelly, I'm such a believer in being positive and knowing what makes you happy. Life is far too short for comparing, we only get one chance! Thank you for the mention xx

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    1. That's just it - life is too short to be unhappy and only we can do something to change how we feel about things.

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  7. Such a great post, it's so easy to let other peoples success make us feel down or even jealous when really we should just be happy for them and focus on our own achievements :) xxx

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    1. It's crazy really isn't it?

      Loving the new blog by the way Emma :)

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  8. What a wonderful post. Really lovely to read and thank you for mentioning me within it. I am one of those people that just try and stay positive all of the time. I write about the not so good form time to time, but in all honestly it's writing about the happy moments and memories that is my real passion, it's what I want to remember. xx

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    1. That's the thing - everyone shares what they want or need to and in life it's better to hold onto the good and let go of the bad x

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  9. Love this post, I could really relate to this. I love and am inspired by so many other bloggers, but sometimes there is a fine line between being inspired by others and then starting to compare ourselves.
    I like to think of myself as a positive person, but I think I am also very ambitious with myself. Sometimes when I see others achieving so much, I beat myself up for not doing better or more - even though I know I am doing the very best that I can at this time in my life.
    Celebrating others achievements is so important, because for all I know others feel the same as me!
    I think we naturally all want to project our best self, our happy moments and our achievements, it doesn't mean we are boasting, but it is just that is what we naturally want to blog about. I know this is true for me, I just need to remember it is true for others too.
    Love the motto and you have inspired me to read Amy's book, thank you! (Love her!) I also loved Katy's post on the rememberlutions jar, just need to come up with my own motto now! Great post and so happy to have found your blog. x

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    1. Hi Rosie, nice to meet you! Thank you for reading and for adding to the positive message :) Let me know what you think of Amy's book and looking forward to talking more with you soon x

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  10. I really love the positivity of your post! My Nanna got one of those jars a few months ago and I thought it sounded like such a good idea at the time - but then I promptly forgot! I must get round to doing it as I have a brain like a sieve. Thanks for joining in with #HappyDaysLinky x

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