Wednesday 18 July 2018

To know or not to know - finding out the gender of your baby

When we had Ethan, both Ste and I knew we didn't want to find out the sex of the baby. We just knew we wanted the excitement and with it being our first child, we wanted to experience the whole journey and keep the mystery right up to the point of meeting them.

At the time, I wrote this brief post on the topic, six months before Ethan's arrival:

The second question everyone has asked us after announcing our news, following 'when's your due date?' has been 'are you going to find out what it is?'.

It's wonderful to see how excited and eager all our friends and family are about our little bundle but for us, the excitement really is in the not knowing.

So much of our lives are planned to the letter and information is at our fingertips, literally, whenever we need it. One thing that can remain a mystery is whether you are having a son or daughter.

From a practical standpoint, I totally understand why people want to find out as soon as they can - after all, sleepsuits aside, finding gender-neutral outfits for baby is quite a task.

But for us, we want to keep that piece of information a surprise, even to ourselves.

After all, it won't change anything one way or the other. As long as bubs is healthy, it doesn't matter one bit if it's a boy or girl. From the trend of women I have known over the years who have had babies, it's 99.9% certain to be a boy but it's one of life's great mysteries and we'll wait until May to find out what Mother Nature has in store.

Reading this back, I completely understand where I was coming from and we are of the same thinking as before.

Kind of.

Since Ethan, friends and family have had babies and aside from two, everyone found out beforehand what they were having. It seems to be more common than keeping it as the big unanswered question. 

I love seeing gender reveal videos and finding out what gender the people I follow on Instagram will be having, but closer to home, I do think it perhaps takes some of the excitement out of things. When everyone knows the gender, then ideas and options and conversations begin to narrow, and I have seen an increase in all pink or all blue presents bought as a result!

This time, we said we might be inclined to find out if Ethan was having difficulty adjusting to the idea of having a baby, or if he was adamant he wanted a baby brother or baby sister. As it turns out, he actually wants one of each, so for the time being, he'll be disappointed either way!

He's actually really excited and he doesn't know that you kind find out beforehand, so he's happy just talking to 'baby' and cuddling my bump, promising to be the best big brother either way. He has a nickname picked out if it's a girl, though - 'Lovehearts'.

Ste has started to swing more towards finding out, suggesting fun ways we could tell Ethan and reveal the news. And it is tempting

I do like to be in control and I love planning things but I think really, deep down, I don't want to know what little Peanut is going to be. The guessing and imagining part is fun and I can daydream about either scenario - to be honest, I can't imagine just having another baby altogether, regardless of gender!

It's one of those things that once you know, you can't un-know, so I'm not sure I want to answer this question just yet...

Our scan is on Friday so let's see if I have a change of heart...

Any guesses as to what we are having??

Were you undecided? Did you regret not finding out or finding out your baby's gender? I'd love to hear your thoughts.


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