Wednesday, 6 August 2014

I don't know how they do it

When you become a mum, your life changes. Of course it does. Priorities change and your daily routine revolves around a little person first, you second. 

It can take some time to adjust to the adjustments you have to make to your life but whilst you wouldn't change it for the world, it's important that new mums hear from other mums that everyone does find it hard at times.

That's a big reason why I write this blog of mine; to share the good, the bad and the unspoken, as for too long, mums haven't always heard the truth about what being a mum (or dad) can be like. It's all too often sugarcoated and tied with a baby pink or blue bow but the reality can be different and we need to know we're not alone. 

I wanted to write this post as for the past week and a bit, hubs has been either working away, as he usually does three or four nights a week, followed by a night at home before heading to Bangkok. He returns home tonight and we really can't wait to see him. It's been a long time. I've really enjoyed spending quality time with Ethan, my favourite person, but being the sole parent around to take care of him can take his toll. 

He's had a few days of teething which really upset his sleep at the weekend and last night he was sick before bedtime too. When you add into the mix my three hospital appointments a week, a blood test, work which has taken me on the road up and down the country recently and the usual household tasks from bills and laundry to food that needs buying and a dog that needs lots of attention. I'm always on the clock, rushing from one thing to another, dropping off, picking up, multitasking in-between, juggling all the time. I've even taken to having baths with Ethan this week, just so I can be sure to have time to wash my hair.

It's been a bit tough. Every mum has difficult moments and I'm not going to lie; the continuous care of a child can be exhausting. Doing everything for them and being everything to them all day is hard.

And for single mums, they have to do this all day, every day. They are the only person there to greet their child when they wake up, to wrestle with them to get ready, clean their teeth, put on their clothes. They need to get them off to nursery / school then take care of their other day job. They need to prepare their meals, do their laundry and all the while be an all-round entertainer, never too far away from sight. They are the only person to take care of the bedtime routine, to help soothe any upsets, clean up any mess, cuddle their child if they wake in the night.

When do they get time for themselves? When can they take a breath? The bond they have with their child is undeniable but it must be oh so tiring at times. Just not having someone there to share daily life with, to talk to.

I don't know how they do it.




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4 comments

  1. I don't know how they do it either. To be honest, I'm not sure how any of us manage it sometimes, on those days when motherhood / parenthood just feels so tough and there's so much to do.

    There's no greater gift than being a parent, but as you say, there is no harder job. Well done for keeping it real and reminding us all that it's ok to find it tough from time to time. x

    P.S Hope life gets a little easier for you soon!

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  2. Thanks for your comment Katie. There are days I wonder just how I did everything / got through it all, mums are pretty amazing peeps for sure. The more honesty there is the better in my opinion - we need to support each other and share the highs and lows so we all know that everyone goes through them.

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  3. I'm a single mum and I love it!! There are definitely times where it's tough- it would be nice to shower without someone watching and throwing bath toys at me, or time to go to the gym or having someone there to share the night time wakes up with or just to generally talk to, but I've learnt how to do it all on my own. The hardest part is that it can become lonely but I'm soon reminded by a cheeky smile that my baby is all I really need. Now the thought of finding a partner is the last thing on my mind! The idea of sharing Molly with someone terrifies me and is a concept I just can't understand at this point. I love I'm all she wants and she's all mine. Being a single mum is tough, but the benifits and extra cuddles outweigh that by far!! Xx

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  4. There are most certainly days that I feel like screaming... "I want to get off!!". Then hubby's shifts fall such that he's home for tea AND does bath and bedtime and suddenly, I can cope again! So, yes, respect to single parents!

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