Thursday, 21 May 2015

Honestly speaking?


There's many times that I've been asked about why I blog, what I blog about and how I decide what to share and not to share.

For some, it's a hard idea to get their heads around, particularly if they're a bit wary of social media in general.

Sharing your thoughts, feelings, happenings and photos of your family life? Online, where anyone can see it? 

Hmm. 

It's not for everyone.

Even within the blogging community, there's a divide in understanding and people's approach to it all. Some seemingly share only the good bits, the happy bits, the Instagram filtered bits. Some use code names for their children as a way to protect their identity in some way. 

Others are honest. Brutally honest, sometimes. Sharing all the highs and the lows and the mundane too, to really show what life as a parent is really like and to be truthful about who they are.

Some of this sharing can be quite raw and doesn't always make the easiest reading but the people who put themselves out there in such a way can really only be admired. They're sharing their experiences to help not just themselves but others, by giving them a virtual reassuring pat on the back, by lending some advice or simply giving people the chance to see things from another perspective.

If you're a blogger or a social media user, how much do you share? Does every photo have a filter? Does every comment you make have the same?

There's pros and cons to being honest, and to being guarded, and we all walk our own lines with what we feel comfortable with, sometimes falling a little more one side than the other than we thought we would, as some things take us off course or knock our balance off kilter.

I was going to start a linky called the perfectly imperfect parent (or PIPs as I affectionately referred to us as) and wrote about how really, we are all flawed and to be a parent is to be imperfect. We don't have all the answers and every day life can be really challenging. Imperfect. But that doesn't mean we are doing something wrong. Letting our kids or ourselves down.

Fellow blogger and Birmingham dweller Emma from Brummy Mummy of 2 is one such blogger who has an honest voice and shares the good, the bad and the ugly. I really admire her and love reading her posts, from Wicked Wednesdays where we are all encouraged to share a 'real' photo of our daily lives to her posts where she says how we all really feel from time, like this one about being a bit bored some days. 

With Emma's posts, she's using her experiences to reach out and say 'it's OK to be a bit crap, nobody's perfect!' and last week, her honesty was picked up in the national press.

The Daily Mail online ran a story about how her blog shares photos of her kids having tantrums and creating a mess, simplifying things a bit as they always do, and Emma had a whole heap of abuse hurled her way, from the DM trolls, as they always do.

I guess it's to be expected and sadly, a lot of these judgements are made by other women, mothers or bloggers. We are all entitled to our own opinions and that's why people like us have our own blogs in the first place - to share those opinions.

The beauty of the online world is that as long as no one is getting hurt, if you don't like what you see or read, you can move on. It's not for you. And that's ok. Just move on.

I wanted to share my thoughts on this topic as I don't have any answers but it stirred up a few things for me and I wanted to really say that people like Emma have my admiration.

I'm honest on here and share details of my life but it's always to a point, so I really commend those who don't really mind what other people think, knowing that creating a reaction is better than being ignored and that they have stayed true to their regular readers and themselves.
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2 comments

  1. I really agree with you and I reallly felt for the lovely Emma who is such a fantastic blogger. I think part of the reason things like PND are so prevalent is because there is so much pressure to maintain thiis perfect ideal of parenting/house/domesticity and it's just not possible IMO. I think the more people show a spectrum of experiences and individuality within parenting and our lives, the more we learn to give ourselves a break and enjoy what we're doing when we can and ride out the rought bits instead of beating ourselves up for not being pinterest perfect all the time. Well said! xx

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  2. I'm a blogger too, and had a big think before I started with how much and what I would share with the world. I find it hard to write honestly if I am not sharing photos and names, that's just the way I am. I agree that if you don't enjoy or think that blog is offensive, just move on. We are not forcing you to read it. Simple.

    Kelly @yespeasmumma

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